It’s Not Easy Being a Vegetarian!

There you are trying to plan a delightful dinner party for your friends. You’ve cleaned the house, bought new linens and you have cooked the salmon to perfection. You have planned a delicious menu for your guests, but there is a bad feeling in your stomach that you just can’t shake. Did you forget something? Then, you hear the doorbell ring-your guests are here! As you slowly open the door, a dark cloud appears….it’s YOUR VEGETARIAN FRIEND! Dun, dun, duuuunnnnnnn! Well, it’s not that dramatic of course, but you’ve never seen the look on your hostess' face when she finds out and whimpers, “but you eat fish, right?” It’s like the scene where Luke Skywalker finds out Darth Vader is his dad in The Empire Strikes Back!

Let me introduce myself. Hello, my name is Dede Tabak and I’ve been a vegetarian for about three years. Now, before you ask, yes, I am happy, no, I do not miss meat, and no, I am not crazy! To be honest, a part of me always wanted to be vegetarian, ever since I read about Dawn from The Baby-sitter's Club series, who was vegetarian and “California cool”. I have always been an animal lover, as evidenced by my stuffed manatee and figurines collection, but that didn’t used to stop me from happily eating my value meal at Burger King. I guess it never really clicked that eating my delicious meal and eating animals was the same thing, or maybe I didn’t care because I loved food. I attempted the whole vegetarian thing in high school once, but I didn’t really know what I was doing (slash I thought it would be a great way to lose weight for some odd reason), and I became anemic. So I went back to my yummy cheeseburgers and turkey clubs, with the mindset that my body couldn’t “take being vegetarian.”

Once I moved out of my parent’s house and hit the NYC (cue The Mary Tyler Moore Show theme song), it suddenly dawned on me that I would have to cook for myself! Well, I may have been a meat eater, but I was definitely not going to buy raw meat and cook it. So my diet gradually started to changed on its own. I started eating more beans than beef, and I liked it; however, I still didn’t want to call myself a vegetarian. I think I was afraid to take that plunge. Once you start calling yourself a vegetarian, you actually can’t eat meat without unleashing the “I told you so,” wrath of your meat eating friends. Also, meat is a sweet temptress that can be quite hard to resist sometimes. That’s why I was actually excited to go with my family to the Ruth Chris Steakhouse over the holidays. Have you had a steak at Ruth's Chris? That filet looks so good swimming in that butter it could give Michael Phelps a run for his money. And while I thought this while I was eating it, that feeling faded the next day. Man, that steak made me so sick. It also made me realize how difficult it is for your body to digest meat. It stays in your system for days; I felt bloated and gross. It was that day that I said “I do” to vegetarianism. (It was a very elegant and understated ceremony.)  But this time, I promised myself, as I affirmed my meatless status, I would do it right. I fell down the white rabbit vegetarian hole and I read everything I could find on how to give up meat without sacrificing nutrition.

This dietary change completely changed my life. I used to have terrible stomach problems and acne, but once I took the plunge, those issues went away. Not only that, but my whole perception of food changed. Don’t get me wrong, I still love food. If I could, I would dedicate Boyz II Men songs to my food all day long…and night. But, my past self wouldn’t really think about what I was eating. I would eat delicious, fatty food, and feel guilty about it later on. I would try some fad diet to lose weight, but would always end up binging.  (Remind me to tell you about my wonderful two weeks without carbs; I still have nightmares.)  Now, I love food in a different way. I love how healthy food makes me feel. So I don’t miss eating meat, and I definitely do not miss the feeling I had after eating that steak. And it makes me feel even better that being a vegetarian not only helps me, but the environment. (High-Five, Al Gore!)

I would say that the most difficult aspect of vegetarianism is the misconceptions that people have. Once I told people I was vegetarian, people became a little defensive, as if I had done this to spite them, or that it I was experiencing a “hippie phase”. You would be surprised at the number of people who have argued with me on whether or not I get enough protein, and how humans are supposed to eat meat. I have had a few hosts freak out on me and assumed I eat seafood. But my favorite is the time someone told me that I was looking a little gray because our skin needs animal blood for color.  (Yeah, because all of my non-vegetarian friends always have that “animal blood” glow about them.)

I understand that being a vegetarian is not for everyone, and I am definitely not here to judge you and your choices. I mean, there were plenty of carnivorous characters in The Baby-sitter's Club series who were equally as awesome. I’ve always considered myself more of a Claudia. The main idea I have learned from my experience is that there are no quick fixes. You can’t eat junk whenever you want and crash diet for a week in order to fit into a dress. You have to learn to love your body and part of that love is listening to what your body needs. I know that sometimes, my body needs chocolate chip cookies - well...wants them! But it mostly needs good nutritional food to make it run properly and being a vegetarian helped me to understand this. So, the next time your vegetarian friend comes knocking on your door, don’t be frightened! We are not here to harm you. Just point us to some kale.

Dede Tabak is a writer, comedian, actress and all around busy woman living, working and happily not eating meat in Manhattan. For more of her musings, visit her blog.